Akatsuki Kids
by Onyx Embers
Summary: Beware the muffins, they contain secrets......and chocolate! Ultimate Hilarity at the expense of the Akatsuki's diginty. like they ever had any! Rated T, 'coz theres Hidan! Written by Sand
1. They are HERE

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto. I do not own the Akatsuki. I do own the muffins though.**

**YAY! Muffins! ^_^ Written by Sand.**

*Knock, Knock*

Tobi opened the door. In front of him was a basket of muffins. He picked it up.

To Akatsuki,

Love Orochimaru's apprentices Ex-teammate.

'Cool!' Tobi walked inside.

'Guys, guys, guys! Orochimaru's apprentices Ex-Teammate sent us muffins!!!'

Pein looked up.

'How do they know where we are? And who is Orochi- is that one plain?' Pein rushed forward.

'There are 6 plain ones.'

'They know my weakness...'

All six Peins came and took a plain muffin. Deidara took chocolate chip, Itachi took bran, Kisame had one with little bits of meat in it, Tobi had caramel, Sasori just placed his in his mouth for a few seconds, Zetsu had one with blood in, Hidan had one with sprinkles, Kakuzu had liquorice, and Konan had blueberry.

They had all finished, and Deidara was licking his fingers.

'**I'm tired...' **Zetsu yawned _'Goodnight...' _Zetsu stood and left the room. (As you can probably tell, the dark side is in bold, and the white side is italic)

'Me too...' Kisame also stood and left.

Eventually all the Akatsuki were asleep. Except for Tobi, who was watching re-runs on the sofa. But he drifted off too.

**I know, short chapter....deal with it.**


	2. The Morning After: Itachi's room

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or the Akatsuki. And this disclaimer is working through the rest of the story, I'm sure everyone gets tired of them.**

Itachi lazily opened one eye. He stared at the white of his ceiling. He could see! He leapt from his bed.

'I CAN SEE IT'S A MIRA-am I shorter?' Itachi looked around. He was definitely shorter. He walked out into the hallway. He was halfway down to Konan's room when...

'HOLY SHIT WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON!!!!'

Itachi spun round to see a small, blonde boy with hair gelled back, in a very loose Akatsuki cloak. He turned to look at him.

'Itachi! Is that you? What the Jashin is going on?'

'Hidan?'

'Well no Fucking duh! What's going on?'

Itachi shrugged. 'Hey, um, Hidan...'

'What?'

'You look, *snicker*, cute as a 10 year old.'

'ITACHI!!!! YOU ARE OUT OF YOUR FUCKING MIND!!!! I'm clearly 12!!'

'Really? Then I must be...11, or maybe 12...I don't know, I haven't seen a mirror.'

'Hm. You look 12.'

'Why thank-'

'GUUUUUUYS!!!!! WHY IN THE WORLD ARE MY PANTS SUDDENLY BIGGER?' Tobi's hysterical cry came from a nearby room.

'Define Bigger?!'

'I can fit in one leg!'

Later......

The whole Tiny Akatsuki gathered in the lounge. All except Kakuzu and Kisame were there.

'Where are they?' Pein asked. Sasori was staring at him.

'What Sasori? What is so fascinating that you stare at my face incessantly?'

'You don't have any piercings...'

Peins hands rushed to his face.

'Psyche!!!' Sasori cried as one of Pein's fingers got caught on a piercing. Pein lowered his other hand, leaving him looking like he was about to pick his nose.

'Not. Funny. Sasori...'

'Well you can't kill me, ha!'

'Actually Sasori no Danna, he can.'

'What?'

'You haven't become a puppet yet.'

'What?!?!'

Sasori lifted up his loose shirt to reveal his stomach. Deidara was right.

'Dam...I'm not a puppet yet!'

Everyone suddenly heard faint voices. Kisame's voice.

'1-2-3-jump! 1-2-3-jump!'

Kisame and Kakuzu jumped into the room. They had some kind of sack around them.

'Look! Look!' Kisame cried 'Me and Kakuzu fit in my pants!'

Everyone sweat-dropped.

**Lol...I seem to have a theme of pants running through this. But honestly, I expected Itachi to be the first one in Kisame's pants.**


	3. Rent? I thought i bought this?

**Yes, due to a mix up Chapter 2 was in 'Baby Akatsuki', but on the plus side, Onyx will now check her stories after she publishes them!**

*Knock, Knock*

Tobi walked to the door. He opened it. Naruto was stood there, wearing a clearly fake ginger moustache.

'Yes?' Tobi asked.

'Is Fred. in? We need to discuss rent.'

Tobi turned round.

'Fred. it's for you!!'

Pein walked up to the door.

'Yes?' He asked in his now shrill, pre-teen voice.

'We need to discuss rent.'

'Rent? I bought this place? Also, how'd you get past the guard?'

'What guard?'

'Okay, yeah...that was a bluff.'

A yell came from inside.

'Pein! Pein! Come join us in Kisame's pants!!!'

Peins eye twitched.

'Shall I come back another time?' Naruto asked.

'That would be advised...'

Naruto walked away, and murmured into his cuff.

'They have the package and we're free to move in anytime.'

'Naruto?' Sakura's voice replied.

'Yeah?'

'I'm right next to you.' Sakura blinked and crossed her arms.

'Oh, yeah...I knew that...it was just...cooler.' Naruto said, arm behind his head.

'Come on...' Sakura said, grabbing Naruto's ear and pulling him away.

* * * *

The Ninja snuck into the headquarters, not making a sound. They collected up the sleeping children, and carefully placed them into the wagon. They drove off, in the direction of Konoha.

* * * *

Itachi blinked as sunlight fell onto his face. He sat up. He was in a larger room than his bedroom. And the others were here. He looked around. Why was he on a mattress? And where the hell were they? A door opened the other side of the room. Itachi looked. A familiar silhouette was at the door.

'S-Sasuke?'

Sasuke stepped into the room and walked over to him.

'Hi, foolish little brother.'

Itachi blinked...nope. this wasn't a dream...

'S-Sasuke...whats going on?' He asked, his voice getting shakey.

'Not much. But we had to bring you to Konoha.'

'Why?'

'Because...' Sasuke leaned in 'There's something wrong with the potion you took.'

Itachi froze. What did Sasuke mean? And why in the world had he woken up two days in a row with weird things?

And more importantly...

When was there going to be breakfast??

**Lol...I love torturing Itachi. Besides, what other times could Sasuke say 'Foolish Little brother' to HIM!**

**Stay tuned for more!**

**-Sand ^_^**


	4. The End

**Wow, it's been a while. But I am glad people read this still. I wasn't quite sure where to lead this, but I have idea's... (I don't own Naruto)**

The others awoke to a sobbing Itachi.

"What's wrong."  
"S-Sasuke....called me...foolish little brother!!!!" Itachi began to bawl again. Kisame clambered over to him.

"Relax, just a little bit longer and everything will be back to normal."  
"N-no I wont! Sasuke said something was wrong with the..."

"YOU TOLD HIM WHAT!?!?!??!??!?!??!" A loud female voice came from the other side of the door. A young woman with pink hair stormed in. She sat down in front of where they had assembled.

"Hello, my name is Sakura. What Sasuke just told Itachi was a lie. In fact...we have a confession:

****

*Knock, Knock*

Tobi opened the door. In front of him was a basket of muffins. He picked it up.

To Akatsuki,

Love Orochimaru's apprentices Ex-teammate.

'Cool!' Tobi walked inside.

'Guys, guys, guys! Orochimaru's apprentices Ex-Teammate sent us muffins!!!'

Pein looked up.

'How do they know where we are? And who is Orochi- is that one plain?' Pein rushed forward.

'There are 6 plain ones.'

'They know my weakness...'

All six Peins came and took a plain muffin. Deidara took chocolate chip, Itachi took bran, Kisame had one with little bits of meat in it, Tobi had caramel, Sasori just placed his in his mouth for a few seconds, Zetsu had one with blood in, Hidan had one with sprinkles, Kakuzu had liquorice, and Konan had blueberry.

They had all finished, and Deidara was licking his fingers.

'**I'm tired...' **Zetsu yawned _'Goodnight...' _Zetsu stood and left the room.

'Me too...' Kisame also stood and left.

Eventually all the Akatsuki were asleep. Except for Tobi, who was watching re-runs on the sofa. But he drifted off too.

Soon, ninja came into the house, and began to gather up the Akatsuki.

"This was a great idea kukukukuku..."

"Shut it!"

"Sorry...but still, great..."

"Anyway, lets just get this over with."

The ninja drew their Kunai, and moved in.

****

"Well, the ninja killed you, but we turned up, and quickly created some clones. We retrived your minds from the bodys, but we could only manage to make younger versions of yourselves."

"That explains, so much." Kisame commented.

"We tried to leave you at your home, but we realised that was wrong, so we brought you to Konoha. We're going to take you back to your home villages, and register you as orphans, you can live your lives again, okay?"

They nodded. Tobi looked around.

"Can you hear that?"  
"Hear what?"  
"Someones calling me..." Tobi stood up.

*Tobi...*

*Tobi.*

*Tobi!*

"Tobi!!!!!!"

Tobi was shaken, and he woke up.

"Tobi! Did you eat all this candy?!" Pein asked, pointing to the wrappers all around him.

"Yeah..."

"Did you get one of your crazy candy dreams again?" Pein looked down at him

"Yeah..." Tobi sighed, and fell back.

"It was nice..." Tobi drifted back to sleep.

**Ha! Bet you didn't see that coming!**

**Yeah, that was the end. So review!**


End file.
